Extravagance.

I guess because I frequent bridal message boards, I feel like everyone is getting married. And it makes me think of the finances of the day. People spend so much money to have the memories of just one day. I wonder sometimes if it's worth it. Not to say that getting married isn't worth it, but the wedding part...as in, what's the big deal? I read so many threads about what each person's budget is...I couldn't imagine spending more than we're spending on our wedding. Not to knock others who spend more, but for me, it's just one day, a significant day, yes, but still just one day. We will have the whole rest of our lives to do more and get extravagant about other things (like opening up a small coffee shop like we want to).

People ask us why we don't just elope because I make it pretty obvious that I loathe wedding planning. But the truth is, I DO want the memory of it. I don't want to go to a courthouse and get married and then go home and watch Family Guy. I want to be able to look back at everything and say "That was our day. That day was about us. And it was amazing." Even if things don't go "as planned", I want to look back and think "that was a perfect day." Because I'm marrying the best guy in the world and that's all that matters.

But really, even with the details and getting lots of people together to celebrate, why does it have to be so expensive?

The answer is that always "because people will always pay for it." Yeah, that's true. People go nuts over wedding planning and the details and have a tendency to spend so much money on things that people won't remember.

We're not rich. Not in the least. I work 25 hours a week, roughly, as a waitress. Jared works as a beer salesman and works 50 hours a week for less than he's actually worth. So we don't have a lot and we're paying for this ourselves. Even if we wanted help from others, his parents cant afford to help, and neither can my parents. So we have to stick to limited ideas and a limited budget. And in that way, I think we're setting ourselves up for a good marriage.

I don't know...maybe I'm putting too much thought into it. But I know that at the end of my wedding day, I'll be thrilled that I'm married and happy that we had a day dedicated solely to us. But we can have that without breaking ourselves.

Actually, I'm looking forward to the challenge to see how much we don't spend. Challenge accepted.

The Wedsite

The wedding website is up and running!

And I actually really like it.

Yes, I do.


http://www.mywedding.com/jaredandmehgan/index.html

Accomplishing nothing

One reason I find wedding planning so ridiculously irritating is that you can do so much wedding stuff and still accomplish nothing. Getting quotes, scouting, meeting with vendors, trying on dresses, looking at bridesmaids dresses, looking at wedding websites. You can spend hours and hours and days doing all of this and yet still have nothing accomplished or set in stone.

That's the dilemma we're facing right now. Just the other day, on his day off, Jared went to go look for groomsmen tuxes and suits. I'm very particular about what I want them to wear (vest but no jacket, white shirt, brown/khaki/tan pants, but absolutely nothing "tux-like", such as the silky, shiny vests with matching tie), but not so particular about the shades being the exact match or anything like that. So my recommendation to him was just to have the guys buy the pieces individually.  He wants all the shades the same though (new upcoming blog idea...thegroomwhocarestoomuch.com) on all of his guys. So he's picky and therefore scouting tux shops.

what I want the guys to wear...no jackets! No tux crap!

The problem is that some of his groomsmen are larger than the majority of most people (a couple guys in height, a couple in weight). And since suit shops operate on the idea that everyone is a classy size 6 (whatever that is in guy sizes), they don't carry what we want in his GM's size. So they keep coming up short. It could all be solved by each guy buying their own brown/tan/khaki vest and pants at a place like Target or JC Penny or fricken Wal-Mart for all I care, but Jared wants every shade to be the same.

So he scouted. He looked and looked. Visited every suit shop in town. Came up with nothing. Used a whole day to find this stuff and he's no closer to a solution than where he started.

Meanwhile, that same day, I was scouting new locations. We're still looking for a new venue but are facing money concerns and catering concerns. The place we do want that is affordable has a requirement that we use their caterer. We really don't want to do that. So that day, I made phone call after phone call, visited many sites, went to the actual locations...and we still don't have a place that we like and that we can afford (with just 205 days left. Yep).

So a whole day wasted. Nothing accomplished. No further progress. 

Eff you, wedding planning. Eff you. Hard.

Hello, blog. I have(n't) missed you.

A crazy 2 weeks, I must say. Moving. Housesitting. Getting a cold. Not caring about wedding stuff.

We're in the process of trying to find a new "venue." Our original spot is really great, really very pretty, and I really like it. We're getting it dirt cheap (literally) and can have it the whole day. It's exactly what I want...close to the water without being on the beach, but more of a garden feel to it. A nice spot. But there are downsides. We can't have both the wedding and the reception there...there's just no way to fit 100 people for the reception and the wedding in that one small space. We could do one or the other (the wedding woudl be better) but that's about it. Plus, there are no bathrooms, and we'd have to bring EVERYTHING. Tables. Chairs. Linens. Dishes. Staff to help clean and take care of guests. Everything. Literally.

So we're scoping out some places. I don't know what to do...we can't afford the crazy-ass prices that some places want to charge, but we know some of them are still considered really cheap in terms of weddings. But it's still more than we want to pay.

I don't know. That's all I've got. Apathy is in full swing tonight.