Say, would you like a chocolate-covered pretzel?

This isn't wedding related at all, but I figured, what the hell, it's been too much time between blogs.

Last year, Jared and I were bored one night around the holidays so we decided to make some chocolate-covered pretzels. I couldn't fathom how to do it, but because he likes to cook so much, he decided to show me how to make them. It wasn't hard at all! Just some chocolate chips melted by a double-boiler (or a pan on top of boiling water that's in another pan) and some pretzel sticks and some sprinkles!

We made so many that I decided to give some to my friends as Christmas gifts since we were meeting for lunch the next day. They were a hit! So I really wanted to make them again this year because one of my friends mentioned how good they were last year.

So we made some tonight. We bought some pretzel rods (weird name) and went to work. Then we realized we had so much chocolate and white chocolate left that we had to do something with it all! I suddenly remembered that Jared got a little over-zealous at Sam's a couple months back and bought an entire box of small bags of pretzels, and the only one who has eaten them is Sheila, our dog, when she was able to get into the bottom cabinet they were in. Silly dog. But we still had dozens of bags left. Eureka!

And this picture is missing yet another pan and 2 plates more...

He asked me if I'm going to go overboard next year with them too and I told him yes and that we're starting our own holiday tradition. Right now we have 7 Christmas containers full of them and 2 tupperware containers full. I've been racking my brain to figure out who to give them to. We're meeting friends for dinner tomorrow night so there are a few of them gone. But who else?

Right now, I don't care, because my stomach hurts. Hurts so good...

Hair. An important decision.

I've got my bridal portraits scheduled for next Sunday with the lovely Michelle Daniel. I'm so super excited about taking them because I have a plan and I'm actually keeping the plan secret (a first for me!) so that Jared doesn't find out, since I want to give him some of the portraits as a gift. Anyway, I am scheduling my hair trial for the same day since there's this whole two birds/one stone thing going on. I'm having a difficult time trying to figure out how to do my hair.

Basically how I pictured my hair sans veil on my wedding day

I finally buckled down and decided that I will be wearing a veil that day, even though I am still telling myself how "typical" I will be (I have this weird thing about being a typical person, and since bride=veil, I'm having a tough time swallowing that pill). But I reasoned that I'll have just one day to feel like a bride, so why not go all out? But I like the way weddings look without a veil, and I love how elegant some of the hairstyles look.

Not my hair but basically how I do it, but messier

The problem is that all the hair styles I love and want to do to my hair is how I do my hair every. freaking. day. of. the. week. Pulled back, twist into a bun, have some flyaways, done. I wear my hair the same way every day because I hate having hair in my face and I'm growing it out for the wedding (for purposes such as this actually). I like the way it looks on me but I feel like I should change it up just for a day. I bought some really pretty orange and green hair pins from Etsy that will just look adorable in my hair, I'm sure. And I know how I want them placed and all, but given that I feel like I should do something different to my hair, I doubt they'll go where I want them.

Would love something like this but it won't work

The biggest dilemma I have is that my hair is so super fine. It doesn't hold  a curl, a wave, nothing. Hair spray is no match for my hair. So if I wear it down or half-down or quarter-down or anything at all, I can pretty much bet that it'll be, well, straight within 20 minutes. No lie.


So I'm struggling. I have no idea. I did some googling and found hairstyles I liked that could look good with my hair AND it'd be different from my normal 'do, but still similar to what I like. And my hair pins would go great with them.

So, I present to you some hair trial ideas. Thoughts?

Bottom left is a big contender

Love the ones on the left

Definitely one of the highest on the list

This is cute. Shows the placement of the hair pins I wanted

And this is probably what I'll end up doing, hair pin placement and all

All relatively similar hairdos but I don't know...none of them show a veil over them. I sort of like the idea of a splash of color showing through my veil so I'll definitely use the pins I've already bought. Just so torn...

Anyway, bridal shower tomorrow.....

Pictures Pictures Pictures...

I'm obsessed with pictures. I'm usually the only one of my friends who has brought a camera, and if I'm wearing a cute outfit, I try to get pictures of myself in it, standing with my friends. And I will not hesitate to say "No, take the picture length-wise!" I want pictures of everyone when we go out to places, and I love smiles and goofy looks. I love pictures!

I also upload pictures like crazy to Facebook, something that I'm sure annoys my friends. I take pictures of license plates, for example, that are funny to me. Vanity plates, mostly. I've even got people on board now! People send me pictures of funny plates, or they tag me in their Facebooks of ones they find out and about. So I know people know I'm picture-obsessed, but I always hope I'm not annoying about it.

And I'm definitely by no means a photographer...just love pictures. Memories! That's what they're for! Memories, people! I want to remember everything!  I know I get that from my mom. For years, she's given people gifts of pictures and photo collages. Bless her heart, she's not a scrapbooker or crafty by any means, but I love that she's so sentimental about them. For Jared's birthday, she gave him a collage she made of baby pictures of me. She loves them too.

So it goes without saying that my wedding photography is, with the exception of marrying Jared, the MOST important thing to me. The most! I want pictures of everyone...people dancing, people eating, people tying their shoelaces. I want pictures of me getting into my dress, getting my hair done, my bridesmaids getting dressed. I want pictures of Jared's face when he first sees me, pictures of my face when I first see him, pictures of us hugging...it's safe to say my photographers,  my very wonderful friends Chris and Kim, will have their work cut out for them.

My dream is to be featured on Style Me Pretty, as I mentioned in my last blog post. I swear, sometimes that's the whole reason why we're doing an actual wedding, rather than something simple. I WANT TO BE AN SMP BRIDE! Please? Oh please.

We're having a DIY photobooth, another thing I mentioned before. I want pictures of people having fun, letting loose, being goofy. I want pictures of everyone who came to the wedding. I want to know they had a good time! I want to look at the pictures one day when I'm old and losing my mind and say "Wow, it looks like people had fun. Was I there? Oh, I must've been. There I am!"

I got these done so I could look at myself

I'm also a little narcissistic, but only in the Greek way, not the psychological-label way. I love looking at myself and thinking "I'm pretty in this picture. Oh! I'm prettier in this one! Ooh and then there's this one!" So lots and lots of pictures, please.  Not because I'm the bride, but because I'm, well, Mehgan. That's me.

I know I'll have a bunch of poses and SMP links to share on a future blog post, if I can motivate myself enough to write more often than every few weeks, to give an idea of what I want, and to also organize a list to give to my photographers of shots I "must" have.

I've told Jared from the beginning that I want the pictures...not the dress, not the shoes, not the flowers...the pictures. That's what I'm most excited about, other than the fact that I get to marry him.

Have I mentioned before I can't wait to marry him? Gosh, i can't wait. He's the absolute best.

Ok hopefully I'll write more sooner! Bridal shower in 2 weeks. Bought my outfit tonight. Can't wait!

My favorite wedding...

I am so in love with this wedding:
http://www.stylemepretty.com/2010/10/12/do-it-yourself-wedding-in-austin-texas/

I want to include so many elements to it, but I don't want to rip off their wedding! I knew from the get-go I liked the chalkboard look, so I've been planning to use that for quite some time. But then when I saw how they did the baby's breath, I decided I love that look and want to do that! Only I don't know how it'll look with my dress, which is ivory. Regardless, it's cute!

I've also given up on Jared's groomsmen wearing vests, since of his guys are such different sizes. I orignially wanted them all in vests, then just the GM in vests and Jared in suspenders. Now I think it'll be too difficult for them to wear vests b/c of sizing issues, but I love the suspenders look. So yeah, another element of this wedding I want!

I even used this wedding as inspiration for the backdrop for our makeshift photo booth. I found a great sheet with a great pattern at Goodwill (no stains, either!) and will use that as a backdrop. The only thing is that it's not our wedding colors, which my little groomzilla was quick to point out! But that's ok...it'll look great!

I love Style Me Pretty so much. It's my wedding dream to be featured on there! They seem to like DIY weddings too, which is what Jared and I are doing. He even said today that he really wants people to know we put together an amazing wedding with very little so I know he's on board with it looking SMP-worthy, even though he doesn't scour the site like I do!

Another wedding I really love is this one:
http://www.stylemepretty.com/gallery/gallery/2304/6

Mostly for the Cornhole boards, which we will be doing. They also have their GM in suspenders, which is so great looking! Jared's on board with that too, luckily.

Can I just have their weddings? They're so beautiful and just look fun! That's what we want.

Just in love with Style Me Pretty and those two weddings...I can't wait to see how ours turns out!

Alcohol

We're having our wedding at a state park, and we are not allowed to bring alcohol. Our wedding and reception, therefore, must be alcohol-free. Because I don't drink, I don't mind this rule at all. My fiance is indifferent about it too. He drinks but not to the point of recklessness or dependency in the least. A lot of my family members drink, as do my friends and his friends. I'm definitely the odd-man-out when it comes to drinking.

I keep worrying that no one is going to have fun at our wedding. Really worried. Like to the point of nightmares. I wake up in the middle of the night feeling shaky and anxious, all because my dreams are of people sitting around with their arms crossed while music is playing but there's an empty dance floor. It's really starting to bother me.

I can have fun without drinking. I do it all the time. In fact, the last time I got drunk, I wasn't having fun at all because I was throwing up the whole time. So I haven't been drunk in 8 years but I've had TONS of fun since then! Karaoke, dancing, bachelorette parties...I always have a good time. So I'm not worried about myself not having fun, but I know that others aren't so ready-made for fun and need encouragement. I don't want people to come to my wedding and leave early because there's no alcohol. I don't want people to not come at all when they find out it'll be a dry wedding (it's listed as such on our wedding website).

So I'm plagued by this. We're going to look into seeing if there's a special allowance for private functions like this, but I'm not sure.

I don't know. I want my wedding to be fun, but I feel like the odds are working against me.

I'm a big-girl bride

I love Dove's real-woman campaign

I actually enjoy being a thicker girl. Like, a lot. I often stare at myself in the mirror and sometimes jiggle things and laugh with adoration.  I feel more womanly standing next to some wafer-thin women I know. I gots dem child-bearin' hips, whatup.

So I will start by saying I'm just 5'0". Short, right? Yeah, I guess, but I don't really notice it, especially since Jared is just 5'4" (and also chubby). Enough to be taller than me but not enough to tower over me like other guys I've dated. It works well.

At 5'0" and 28 years old, I should probably be about 100 pounds, according to an ideal weight calculator I found by googling some things (go ahead and shove it, you stupid calculator). But I am...wait for it...165 lbs. According to that calculator, my weight is enough for a 6'0" person. Well, that extra foot of height has been compressed and then divided into two very plump thighs. We call them the Burroughs Thighs.

Burroughs Thighs.

The Burroughs Thighs: given to all women on my paternal side from my lovely and very wonderful late grandmother. And now it seems the thigh curse has been spreading to a few more people in the family, namely my nephew, whom I've dubbed "The Chunk." He's cursed worse than I am. Poor kid. Good thing he's fricken adorable.

So back on topic, I'm fat. Well, at least my thighs are. Call me what you want...thick, curvy, plump, womanly, heavy. I know what I am. But I LOVE my body! I'm beautiful! My weight, though "heavy" for my height, is, to me, evenly dispersed among my body. I have an ass that won't quit (and gets me a lot of unwanted attention from men I don't care to talk to) but my thighs rub together so much that I could teach boy scouts how to start a fire. Thus, I wear shorts under every skirt or dress I wear. It helps the Chub Rub immensely. I'm grateful that I don't have a large stomach or a muffin top. So I feel like my body is a great shape and is big in the right places but not so big (notice I didn't say small) in the other places.

Anyway, I guess you could call me a plus-sized bride. My wedding dress is a size 14, which I guess equates to a size 12 in normal dress standards. Ok, great! Excited about that. I'm not "really" a size 14. The dress has a corset that ties up under the dress, and then the dress is zipped up over the corset ties.

Now, when I got this dress, I was thrilled that it fit "perfectly" and that I wouldn't have to tailor it except for the train and hem. But what I failed to remember was that every winter, I pack on some winter weight for hibernation purposes. And then it stays forever. So I gain at least one size per year. I don't get fatter; I expand. My thighs, when standing, just get wider and I'm pretty sure my butt grows out a little bit (like I said, it won't quit).

So I'm concerned that my dress won't fit come April. Not to mention that the cute little Filipino lady who did my alterations couldn't zip it completely (but I'll blame that on her one arthritic finger and the fact that it usually takes 2 people to do a corset properly...right?). I've never been one to diet. Like, ever. Dieting is stupid. I've always said I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and hungry. I LOVE my food (a bit of an eating addiction, actually, that I haven't allowed 12-step to fix for me just yet) and I hate exercise. My exercising is lifting a fork to my mouth and chewing.

He's sporty

I should also add that I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, so my only unhealthy vice is food, but I use that to justify my fatness. It works for me (I will remember this as I have my first premature heart attack). But I am going to attempt to eat a little bit better in order to shed a couple of pounds, if for nothing else but my wedding dress alone. Otherwise, I'm sure I wouldn't try to lose any weight before my wedding. I'm definitely not one of those brides.

On April 9, 2011, I will be a bride. A plus-sized bride. And I will look amazing. And I will eat wedding cake. Lots and lots of wedding cake.

Extravagance.

I guess because I frequent bridal message boards, I feel like everyone is getting married. And it makes me think of the finances of the day. People spend so much money to have the memories of just one day. I wonder sometimes if it's worth it. Not to say that getting married isn't worth it, but the wedding part...as in, what's the big deal? I read so many threads about what each person's budget is...I couldn't imagine spending more than we're spending on our wedding. Not to knock others who spend more, but for me, it's just one day, a significant day, yes, but still just one day. We will have the whole rest of our lives to do more and get extravagant about other things (like opening up a small coffee shop like we want to).

People ask us why we don't just elope because I make it pretty obvious that I loathe wedding planning. But the truth is, I DO want the memory of it. I don't want to go to a courthouse and get married and then go home and watch Family Guy. I want to be able to look back at everything and say "That was our day. That day was about us. And it was amazing." Even if things don't go "as planned", I want to look back and think "that was a perfect day." Because I'm marrying the best guy in the world and that's all that matters.

But really, even with the details and getting lots of people together to celebrate, why does it have to be so expensive?

The answer is that always "because people will always pay for it." Yeah, that's true. People go nuts over wedding planning and the details and have a tendency to spend so much money on things that people won't remember.

We're not rich. Not in the least. I work 25 hours a week, roughly, as a waitress. Jared works as a beer salesman and works 50 hours a week for less than he's actually worth. So we don't have a lot and we're paying for this ourselves. Even if we wanted help from others, his parents cant afford to help, and neither can my parents. So we have to stick to limited ideas and a limited budget. And in that way, I think we're setting ourselves up for a good marriage.

I don't know...maybe I'm putting too much thought into it. But I know that at the end of my wedding day, I'll be thrilled that I'm married and happy that we had a day dedicated solely to us. But we can have that without breaking ourselves.

Actually, I'm looking forward to the challenge to see how much we don't spend. Challenge accepted.