Sunday, October 24, 2010

My favorite wedding...

I am so in love with this wedding:

I want to include so many elements to it, but I don't want to rip off their wedding! I knew from the get-go I liked the chalkboard look, so I've been planning to use that for quite some time. But then when I saw how they did the baby's breath, I decided I love that look and want to do that! Only I don't know how it'll look with my dress, which is ivory. Regardless, it's cute!

I've also given up on Jared's groomsmen wearing vests, since of his guys are such different sizes. I orignially wanted them all in vests, then just the GM in vests and Jared in suspenders. Now I think it'll be too difficult for them to wear vests b/c of sizing issues, but I love the suspenders look. So yeah, another element of this wedding I want!

I even used this wedding as inspiration for the backdrop for our makeshift photo booth. I found a great sheet with a great pattern at Goodwill (no stains, either!) and will use that as a backdrop. The only thing is that it's not our wedding colors, which my little groomzilla was quick to point out! But that's'll look great!

I love Style Me Pretty so much. It's my wedding dream to be featured on there! They seem to like DIY weddings too, which is what Jared and I are doing. He even said today that he really wants people to know we put together an amazing wedding with very little so I know he's on board with it looking SMP-worthy, even though he doesn't scour the site like I do!

Another wedding I really love is this one:

Mostly for the Cornhole boards, which we will be doing. They also have their GM in suspenders, which is so great looking! Jared's on board with that too, luckily.

Can I just have their weddings? They're so beautiful and just look fun! That's what we want.

Just in love with Style Me Pretty and those two weddings...I can't wait to see how ours turns out!

Saturday, October 16, 2010


We're having our wedding at a state park, and we are not allowed to bring alcohol. Our wedding and reception, therefore, must be alcohol-free. Because I don't drink, I don't mind this rule at all. My fiance is indifferent about it too. He drinks but not to the point of recklessness or dependency in the least. A lot of my family members drink, as do my friends and his friends. I'm definitely the odd-man-out when it comes to drinking.

I keep worrying that no one is going to have fun at our wedding. Really worried. Like to the point of nightmares. I wake up in the middle of the night feeling shaky and anxious, all because my dreams are of people sitting around with their arms crossed while music is playing but there's an empty dance floor. It's really starting to bother me.

I can have fun without drinking. I do it all the time. In fact, the last time I got drunk, I wasn't having fun at all because I was throwing up the whole time. So I haven't been drunk in 8 years but I've had TONS of fun since then! Karaoke, dancing, bachelorette parties...I always have a good time. So I'm not worried about myself not having fun, but I know that others aren't so ready-made for fun and need encouragement. I don't want people to come to my wedding and leave early because there's no alcohol. I don't want people to not come at all when they find out it'll be a dry wedding (it's listed as such on our wedding website).

So I'm plagued by this. We're going to look into seeing if there's a special allowance for private functions like this, but I'm not sure.

I don't know. I want my wedding to be fun, but I feel like the odds are working against me.

Friday, October 1, 2010

I'm a big-girl bride

I love Dove's real-woman campaign
I actually enjoy being a thicker girl. Like, a lot. I often stare at myself in the mirror and sometimes jiggle things and laugh with adoration.  I feel more womanly standing next to some wafer-thin women I know. I gots dem child-bearin' hips, whatup.

So I will start by saying I'm just 5'0". Short, right? Yeah, I guess, but I don't really notice it, especially since Jared is just 5'4" (and also chubby). Enough to be taller than me but not enough to tower over me like other guys I've dated. It works well.

At 5'0" and 28 years old, I should probably be about 100 pounds, according to an ideal weight calculator I found by googling some things (go ahead and shove it, you stupid calculator). But I am...wait for it...165 lbs. According to that calculator, my weight is enough for a 6'0" person. Well, that extra foot of height has been compressed and then divided into two very plump thighs. We call them the Burroughs Thighs.
Burroughs Thighs.

The Burroughs Thighs: given to all women on my paternal side from my lovely and very wonderful late grandmother. And now it seems the thigh curse has been spreading to a few more people in the family, namely my nephew, whom I've dubbed "The Chunk." He's cursed worse than I am. Poor kid. Good thing he's fricken adorable.

So back on topic, I'm fat. Well, at least my thighs are. Call me what you want...thick, curvy, plump, womanly, heavy. I know what I am. But I LOVE my body! I'm beautiful! My weight, though "heavy" for my height, is, to me, evenly dispersed among my body. I have an ass that won't quit (and gets me a lot of unwanted attention from men I don't care to talk to) but my thighs rub together so much that I could teach boy scouts how to start a fire. Thus, I wear shorts under every skirt or dress I wear. It helps the Chub Rub immensely. I'm grateful that I don't have a large stomach or a muffin top. So I feel like my body is a great shape and is big in the right places but not so big (notice I didn't say small) in the other places.

Anyway, I guess you could call me a plus-sized bride. My wedding dress is a size 14, which I guess equates to a size 12 in normal dress standards. Ok, great! Excited about that. I'm not "really" a size 14. The dress has a corset that ties up under the dress, and then the dress is zipped up over the corset ties.

Now, when I got this dress, I was thrilled that it fit "perfectly" and that I wouldn't have to tailor it except for the train and hem. But what I failed to remember was that every winter, I pack on some winter weight for hibernation purposes. And then it stays forever. So I gain at least one size per year. I don't get fatter; I expand. My thighs, when standing, just get wider and I'm pretty sure my butt grows out a little bit (like I said, it won't quit).

So I'm concerned that my dress won't fit come April. Not to mention that the cute little Filipino lady who did my alterations couldn't zip it completely (but I'll blame that on her one arthritic finger and the fact that it usually takes 2 people to do a corset properly...right?). I've never been one to diet. Like, ever. Dieting is stupid. I've always said I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and hungry. I LOVE my food (a bit of an eating addiction, actually, that I haven't allowed 12-step to fix for me just yet) and I hate exercise. My exercising is lifting a fork to my mouth and chewing.

He's sporty
I should also add that I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, so my only unhealthy vice is food, but I use that to justify my fatness. It works for me (I will remember this as I have my first premature heart attack). But I am going to attempt to eat a little bit better in order to shed a couple of pounds, if for nothing else but my wedding dress alone. Otherwise, I'm sure I wouldn't try to lose any weight before my wedding. I'm definitely not one of those brides.

On April 9, 2011, I will be a bride. A plus-sized bride. And I will look amazing. And I will eat wedding cake. Lots and lots of wedding cake.