Friday, October 1, 2010

I'm a big-girl bride

I love Dove's real-woman campaign
I actually enjoy being a thicker girl. Like, a lot. I often stare at myself in the mirror and sometimes jiggle things and laugh with adoration.  I feel more womanly standing next to some wafer-thin women I know. I gots dem child-bearin' hips, whatup.

So I will start by saying I'm just 5'0". Short, right? Yeah, I guess, but I don't really notice it, especially since Jared is just 5'4" (and also chubby). Enough to be taller than me but not enough to tower over me like other guys I've dated. It works well.

At 5'0" and 28 years old, I should probably be about 100 pounds, according to an ideal weight calculator I found by googling some things (go ahead and shove it, you stupid calculator). But I am...wait for it...165 lbs. According to that calculator, my weight is enough for a 6'0" person. Well, that extra foot of height has been compressed and then divided into two very plump thighs. We call them the Burroughs Thighs.
Burroughs Thighs.

The Burroughs Thighs: given to all women on my paternal side from my lovely and very wonderful late grandmother. And now it seems the thigh curse has been spreading to a few more people in the family, namely my nephew, whom I've dubbed "The Chunk." He's cursed worse than I am. Poor kid. Good thing he's fricken adorable.

So back on topic, I'm fat. Well, at least my thighs are. Call me what you want...thick, curvy, plump, womanly, heavy. I know what I am. But I LOVE my body! I'm beautiful! My weight, though "heavy" for my height, is, to me, evenly dispersed among my body. I have an ass that won't quit (and gets me a lot of unwanted attention from men I don't care to talk to) but my thighs rub together so much that I could teach boy scouts how to start a fire. Thus, I wear shorts under every skirt or dress I wear. It helps the Chub Rub immensely. I'm grateful that I don't have a large stomach or a muffin top. So I feel like my body is a great shape and is big in the right places but not so big (notice I didn't say small) in the other places.

Anyway, I guess you could call me a plus-sized bride. My wedding dress is a size 14, which I guess equates to a size 12 in normal dress standards. Ok, great! Excited about that. I'm not "really" a size 14. The dress has a corset that ties up under the dress, and then the dress is zipped up over the corset ties.

Now, when I got this dress, I was thrilled that it fit "perfectly" and that I wouldn't have to tailor it except for the train and hem. But what I failed to remember was that every winter, I pack on some winter weight for hibernation purposes. And then it stays forever. So I gain at least one size per year. I don't get fatter; I expand. My thighs, when standing, just get wider and I'm pretty sure my butt grows out a little bit (like I said, it won't quit).

So I'm concerned that my dress won't fit come April. Not to mention that the cute little Filipino lady who did my alterations couldn't zip it completely (but I'll blame that on her one arthritic finger and the fact that it usually takes 2 people to do a corset properly...right?). I've never been one to diet. Like, ever. Dieting is stupid. I've always said I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and hungry. I LOVE my food (a bit of an eating addiction, actually, that I haven't allowed 12-step to fix for me just yet) and I hate exercise. My exercising is lifting a fork to my mouth and chewing.

He's sporty
I should also add that I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, so my only unhealthy vice is food, but I use that to justify my fatness. It works for me (I will remember this as I have my first premature heart attack). But I am going to attempt to eat a little bit better in order to shed a couple of pounds, if for nothing else but my wedding dress alone. Otherwise, I'm sure I wouldn't try to lose any weight before my wedding. I'm definitely not one of those brides.

On April 9, 2011, I will be a bride. A plus-sized bride. And I will look amazing. And I will eat wedding cake. Lots and lots of wedding cake.


  1. AMEN sister! :) found your blog through WeddingBuzz. I will be wearing a size 16 wedding dress next september, unless some act of God or illness, makes me lose weight. like you, my only unhealthy vice is food. I have never been skinny, so to diet for my wedding would be silly. he met me, loved me, and proposed to me as a size 16, and he's going to marry me that way. i'm going to enjoy every bit of food and cake at my wedding. Our weight doesn't make us any less beautiful or special on our wedding day. I wish more girls would realize that. Happy wedding planning to you :)

  2. At the end of the day, its your wedding day and you will look beautiful no matter what size your dress is! :-)

    Im a chunky thigh girl too, i only wish i had the same attitude as you and loved my body!

    Good luck for your wedding!

  3. love your body for what it is, not for what it could be :)

  4. I really enjoyed reading this, I found it through WB! It's great to hear of someone so ok with their body like you are. I also carry most of my weight in my butt and thighs (LOVE your trick about wearing shorts under all dresses, I end up with the WORST thigh burns sometimes!!). My middle has gotten a little bit of weight on it but I only notice it when I sit down. I wish I was more confident like you!

  5. Confidence is the easy part. It's working the thighs off that's difficult. I guess I just made a choice to do the easiest one :)