My favorite wedding...

I am so in love with this wedding:
http://www.stylemepretty.com/2010/10/12/do-it-yourself-wedding-in-austin-texas/

I want to include so many elements to it, but I don't want to rip off their wedding! I knew from the get-go I liked the chalkboard look, so I've been planning to use that for quite some time. But then when I saw how they did the baby's breath, I decided I love that look and want to do that! Only I don't know how it'll look with my dress, which is ivory. Regardless, it's cute!

I've also given up on Jared's groomsmen wearing vests, since of his guys are such different sizes. I orignially wanted them all in vests, then just the GM in vests and Jared in suspenders. Now I think it'll be too difficult for them to wear vests b/c of sizing issues, but I love the suspenders look. So yeah, another element of this wedding I want!

I even used this wedding as inspiration for the backdrop for our makeshift photo booth. I found a great sheet with a great pattern at Goodwill (no stains, either!) and will use that as a backdrop. The only thing is that it's not our wedding colors, which my little groomzilla was quick to point out! But that's ok...it'll look great!

I love Style Me Pretty so much. It's my wedding dream to be featured on there! They seem to like DIY weddings too, which is what Jared and I are doing. He even said today that he really wants people to know we put together an amazing wedding with very little so I know he's on board with it looking SMP-worthy, even though he doesn't scour the site like I do!

Another wedding I really love is this one:
http://www.stylemepretty.com/gallery/gallery/2304/6

Mostly for the Cornhole boards, which we will be doing. They also have their GM in suspenders, which is so great looking! Jared's on board with that too, luckily.

Can I just have their weddings? They're so beautiful and just look fun! That's what we want.

Just in love with Style Me Pretty and those two weddings...I can't wait to see how ours turns out!

Alcohol

We're having our wedding at a state park, and we are not allowed to bring alcohol. Our wedding and reception, therefore, must be alcohol-free. Because I don't drink, I don't mind this rule at all. My fiance is indifferent about it too. He drinks but not to the point of recklessness or dependency in the least. A lot of my family members drink, as do my friends and his friends. I'm definitely the odd-man-out when it comes to drinking.

I keep worrying that no one is going to have fun at our wedding. Really worried. Like to the point of nightmares. I wake up in the middle of the night feeling shaky and anxious, all because my dreams are of people sitting around with their arms crossed while music is playing but there's an empty dance floor. It's really starting to bother me.

I can have fun without drinking. I do it all the time. In fact, the last time I got drunk, I wasn't having fun at all because I was throwing up the whole time. So I haven't been drunk in 8 years but I've had TONS of fun since then! Karaoke, dancing, bachelorette parties...I always have a good time. So I'm not worried about myself not having fun, but I know that others aren't so ready-made for fun and need encouragement. I don't want people to come to my wedding and leave early because there's no alcohol. I don't want people to not come at all when they find out it'll be a dry wedding (it's listed as such on our wedding website).

So I'm plagued by this. We're going to look into seeing if there's a special allowance for private functions like this, but I'm not sure.

I don't know. I want my wedding to be fun, but I feel like the odds are working against me.

I'm a big-girl bride

I love Dove's real-woman campaign

I actually enjoy being a thicker girl. Like, a lot. I often stare at myself in the mirror and sometimes jiggle things and laugh with adoration.  I feel more womanly standing next to some wafer-thin women I know. I gots dem child-bearin' hips, whatup.

So I will start by saying I'm just 5'0". Short, right? Yeah, I guess, but I don't really notice it, especially since Jared is just 5'4" (and also chubby). Enough to be taller than me but not enough to tower over me like other guys I've dated. It works well.

At 5'0" and 28 years old, I should probably be about 100 pounds, according to an ideal weight calculator I found by googling some things (go ahead and shove it, you stupid calculator). But I am...wait for it...165 lbs. According to that calculator, my weight is enough for a 6'0" person. Well, that extra foot of height has been compressed and then divided into two very plump thighs. We call them the Burroughs Thighs.

Burroughs Thighs.

The Burroughs Thighs: given to all women on my paternal side from my lovely and very wonderful late grandmother. And now it seems the thigh curse has been spreading to a few more people in the family, namely my nephew, whom I've dubbed "The Chunk." He's cursed worse than I am. Poor kid. Good thing he's fricken adorable.

So back on topic, I'm fat. Well, at least my thighs are. Call me what you want...thick, curvy, plump, womanly, heavy. I know what I am. But I LOVE my body! I'm beautiful! My weight, though "heavy" for my height, is, to me, evenly dispersed among my body. I have an ass that won't quit (and gets me a lot of unwanted attention from men I don't care to talk to) but my thighs rub together so much that I could teach boy scouts how to start a fire. Thus, I wear shorts under every skirt or dress I wear. It helps the Chub Rub immensely. I'm grateful that I don't have a large stomach or a muffin top. So I feel like my body is a great shape and is big in the right places but not so big (notice I didn't say small) in the other places.

Anyway, I guess you could call me a plus-sized bride. My wedding dress is a size 14, which I guess equates to a size 12 in normal dress standards. Ok, great! Excited about that. I'm not "really" a size 14. The dress has a corset that ties up under the dress, and then the dress is zipped up over the corset ties.

Now, when I got this dress, I was thrilled that it fit "perfectly" and that I wouldn't have to tailor it except for the train and hem. But what I failed to remember was that every winter, I pack on some winter weight for hibernation purposes. And then it stays forever. So I gain at least one size per year. I don't get fatter; I expand. My thighs, when standing, just get wider and I'm pretty sure my butt grows out a little bit (like I said, it won't quit).

So I'm concerned that my dress won't fit come April. Not to mention that the cute little Filipino lady who did my alterations couldn't zip it completely (but I'll blame that on her one arthritic finger and the fact that it usually takes 2 people to do a corset properly...right?). I've never been one to diet. Like, ever. Dieting is stupid. I've always said I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and hungry. I LOVE my food (a bit of an eating addiction, actually, that I haven't allowed 12-step to fix for me just yet) and I hate exercise. My exercising is lifting a fork to my mouth and chewing.

He's sporty

I should also add that I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, so my only unhealthy vice is food, but I use that to justify my fatness. It works for me (I will remember this as I have my first premature heart attack). But I am going to attempt to eat a little bit better in order to shed a couple of pounds, if for nothing else but my wedding dress alone. Otherwise, I'm sure I wouldn't try to lose any weight before my wedding. I'm definitely not one of those brides.

On April 9, 2011, I will be a bride. A plus-sized bride. And I will look amazing. And I will eat wedding cake. Lots and lots of wedding cake.

Extravagance.

I guess because I frequent bridal message boards, I feel like everyone is getting married. And it makes me think of the finances of the day. People spend so much money to have the memories of just one day. I wonder sometimes if it's worth it. Not to say that getting married isn't worth it, but the wedding part...as in, what's the big deal? I read so many threads about what each person's budget is...I couldn't imagine spending more than we're spending on our wedding. Not to knock others who spend more, but for me, it's just one day, a significant day, yes, but still just one day. We will have the whole rest of our lives to do more and get extravagant about other things (like opening up a small coffee shop like we want to).

People ask us why we don't just elope because I make it pretty obvious that I loathe wedding planning. But the truth is, I DO want the memory of it. I don't want to go to a courthouse and get married and then go home and watch Family Guy. I want to be able to look back at everything and say "That was our day. That day was about us. And it was amazing." Even if things don't go "as planned", I want to look back and think "that was a perfect day." Because I'm marrying the best guy in the world and that's all that matters.

But really, even with the details and getting lots of people together to celebrate, why does it have to be so expensive?

The answer is that always "because people will always pay for it." Yeah, that's true. People go nuts over wedding planning and the details and have a tendency to spend so much money on things that people won't remember.

We're not rich. Not in the least. I work 25 hours a week, roughly, as a waitress. Jared works as a beer salesman and works 50 hours a week for less than he's actually worth. So we don't have a lot and we're paying for this ourselves. Even if we wanted help from others, his parents cant afford to help, and neither can my parents. So we have to stick to limited ideas and a limited budget. And in that way, I think we're setting ourselves up for a good marriage.

I don't know...maybe I'm putting too much thought into it. But I know that at the end of my wedding day, I'll be thrilled that I'm married and happy that we had a day dedicated solely to us. But we can have that without breaking ourselves.

Actually, I'm looking forward to the challenge to see how much we don't spend. Challenge accepted.

The Wedsite

The wedding website is up and running!

And I actually really like it.

Yes, I do.


http://www.mywedding.com/jaredandmehgan/index.html

Accomplishing nothing

One reason I find wedding planning so ridiculously irritating is that you can do so much wedding stuff and still accomplish nothing. Getting quotes, scouting, meeting with vendors, trying on dresses, looking at bridesmaids dresses, looking at wedding websites. You can spend hours and hours and days doing all of this and yet still have nothing accomplished or set in stone.

That's the dilemma we're facing right now. Just the other day, on his day off, Jared went to go look for groomsmen tuxes and suits. I'm very particular about what I want them to wear (vest but no jacket, white shirt, brown/khaki/tan pants, but absolutely nothing "tux-like", such as the silky, shiny vests with matching tie), but not so particular about the shades being the exact match or anything like that. So my recommendation to him was just to have the guys buy the pieces individually.  He wants all the shades the same though (new upcoming blog idea...thegroomwhocarestoomuch.com) on all of his guys. So he's picky and therefore scouting tux shops.

what I want the guys to wear...no jackets! No tux crap!

The problem is that some of his groomsmen are larger than the majority of most people (a couple guys in height, a couple in weight). And since suit shops operate on the idea that everyone is a classy size 6 (whatever that is in guy sizes), they don't carry what we want in his GM's size. So they keep coming up short. It could all be solved by each guy buying their own brown/tan/khaki vest and pants at a place like Target or JC Penny or fricken Wal-Mart for all I care, but Jared wants every shade to be the same.

So he scouted. He looked and looked. Visited every suit shop in town. Came up with nothing. Used a whole day to find this stuff and he's no closer to a solution than where he started.

Meanwhile, that same day, I was scouting new locations. We're still looking for a new venue but are facing money concerns and catering concerns. The place we do want that is affordable has a requirement that we use their caterer. We really don't want to do that. So that day, I made phone call after phone call, visited many sites, went to the actual locations...and we still don't have a place that we like and that we can afford (with just 205 days left. Yep).

So a whole day wasted. Nothing accomplished. No further progress. 

Eff you, wedding planning. Eff you. Hard.

Hello, blog. I have(n't) missed you.

A crazy 2 weeks, I must say. Moving. Housesitting. Getting a cold. Not caring about wedding stuff.

We're in the process of trying to find a new "venue." Our original spot is really great, really very pretty, and I really like it. We're getting it dirt cheap (literally) and can have it the whole day. It's exactly what I want...close to the water without being on the beach, but more of a garden feel to it. A nice spot. But there are downsides. We can't have both the wedding and the reception there...there's just no way to fit 100 people for the reception and the wedding in that one small space. We could do one or the other (the wedding woudl be better) but that's about it. Plus, there are no bathrooms, and we'd have to bring EVERYTHING. Tables. Chairs. Linens. Dishes. Staff to help clean and take care of guests. Everything. Literally.

So we're scoping out some places. I don't know what to do...we can't afford the crazy-ass prices that some places want to charge, but we know some of them are still considered really cheap in terms of weddings. But it's still more than we want to pay.

I don't know. That's all I've got. Apathy is in full swing tonight.